Me, Myself, and I

John is in the city for a few hours, Holly is away until tomorrow, and I’m home getting chores chored. A few minutes ago as I was scouring a toilet, I found myself inadvertently reciting a poem to the beat of the brush scrubs:

“I had a little tea party, this afternoon at three.
‘Twas very small, three guests in all, just I, Myself, and Me.
Myself ate all the sandwiches,
And I drank all the tea.
‘Twas also I who ate the pie and passed the cake to Me.”

I remember my mom reading this when I was small, from the big grey storybook that once belonged to my great grandfather. And I remember memorizing it, reciting it, and even painstakingly writing it by hand on a piece of embossed stationery with my fancy black pen. That piece of paper remained pinned to the cork board in my room through my teens.

And as I was just now scrubbing away, it dawned on me that it wasn’t odd or ironic that this poem had popped into my head. This is literally the first time in over 14 months that I have been in the house alone. And while having John at home every day has been surprisingly wonderful for our marriage and having an extra year with Holly under the roof has been an unexpected gift, I’ve just realized that I don’t only appreciate, but NEED moments of solitude. As much as I live and breathe for my family, I get energy and strength from alone time too. And, I recognized that if this poem was my mantra at age 6, I guess I’ve always been this way. This is just plain who I am.

So you know what I did? I put down the scrubbing brush. I made myself a latté, walked past the pile of unfolded laundry sitting on the counter, and marched straight to the back patio. Where there’s not a single other person in sight. It’s just me. The only sounds I can hear right now are of birds singing and of my bulldog gently snoring by my side.

It may not quite be three, and this may not quite be tea. But John doesn’t come home for a little while longer and I won’t get to hug Holly until tomorrow, so I’m taking a few moments to give some love and energy to the family I’ve ignored too much this past year. Hey there. How’ve y’all been, I, Myself, and Me?